McSweeney’s
I Work For an Evil Company, but Outside Work, I’m Actually a Really Good Person (was the #1 trending article and most read piece on McSweeney’s in November, 2025; was featured on WFMU and WRWK 93.9 radio shows)
“The Girl with the Green Ribbon Around Her Neck” Updated for the Modern Millennial Woman
You Should Try Running, According to Me, Your Friend Who Won’t Shut Up About Running
Carrie Bradshaw Reflects on the Smoke from the Canadian Wildfires
You’re Going to Love Camping, According to Me, Your Outdoorsy Friend (selected by Greener Pastures Magazine as one of their favorite pieces of satire of the week, 5/22/23; was the #3 trending article on McSweeney’s)
The Wedding Vows of Someone Marrying Their “Best Friend” (was the #1 trending article and most read piece on McSweeney’s in March, 2023; went on to be McSweeney’s 18th most read piece of 2023)
All the Underwear I’ll Be Packing for a Three-Day-Weekend Trip (featured on the Cup of Jo website, 2/17/23; selected by Greener Pastures Magazine as one of their favorite pieces of satire of the week, 2/20/23; was the #1 trending article on McSweeney’s)
I’m Not Sure Which, But One Of These Fifteen PDF Files Is The Final Draft
Happy Valentine’s Day From Facebook. Here’s a Photo of You and Your Ex (selected by The Belladonna Comedy as one of the 5 funniest articles by a woman or non-binary author of the week, 2/19/2022)
Sexy Halloween Costume Ideas for Straight Men (selected by The Belladonna Comedy as one of the 5 funniest articles by a woman or non-binary author of the week, 10/30/2021; was the #3 trending article on McSweeney’s)
Points in Case
The Devil Couldn’t Reach You, So He Sent Us to Play Our Phones on Full Volume
Please Join Us for a Celebration of Life Without Uncle Andy
FAQ for Our Destination Wedding Inside an Active Volcano (voted as one of “The People’s Favorites” on Points in Case)
When “Your Password Is Insecure” vs. When “Your Password Is Confident”
Hemingway’s “For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn” After He Was Told It Had to Hit a 500-Word Minimum
I Went to a Concert and Took a Bunch of Terrible Videos for Us to Watch Together Right Now
We're Going to Begin Boarding Your Flight in the Following Order
In Addition to $10,000, Here Are Some Other Things I’d Like Forgiven from My Time in College (co-authored)
Are You at a Passover Seder or Taking an Online Personality Quiz?
It's Me, the Sitcom Laugh Track. Just Admit It: You Miss Me
List: Common Misspellings of Hanukkah, in Context
List: Ten Questions to Ask Your Friend Who's Feeling Down
Hey, It's Me, Earth. We Need to Talk.
I'd Love to Invite You to Join Clubhouse, Even Though I Don't Really Know What Clubhouse Is
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Reaches Out to HR
An Important Message from Your University President, Who Is Shocked That What Everyone Said Would Happen Is Happening (selected by The Belladonna Comedy as one of the 5 funniest articles by a woman or non-binary author of the week, 11/13/2020)
List: What He Means When He Says “You’re Not Like the Other Girls”
Slackjaw
When You Dine With Us, You’re Family
An Honest Beach Invitation From Your Friend Who Won’t Shut Up About The Beach (featured in the Newsletter of Humorous Writing, 9/4/25)
I’m One Of The Townspeople From Beauty And The Beast: We Need To Talk About Belle
A Member Of The Donner Party Responds To It Being Called A “Party”
The “Choose Life” Trainspotting Monologue With Additions From My Mom
Welcome To Our Fancy Restaurant! Here Are Tonight’s Specials And No, You May Not Know Their Price
A Timeline Of My Thoughts In The One Hour After I Leave A Party (featured in the Newsletter of Humorous Writing, 7/28/22)
Real Headline Or Onion Headline About Jeff Bezos’ Trip To Outer Space?
The Belladonna
It’s Way Too Hot; I Promise I’ll Never Complain About The Cold Ever Again
What He Means When He Says He Doesn’t Like Cats
The People My Fiancé and I Must Invite To Our Wedding, According To My Parents (featured in the Newsletter of Humorous Writing, 9/29/22)
Oscar Nominated Movie Summaries Based Solely on Their Posters (featured in the Fully AuthentiCaited newsletter as ‘Recommended Reading’, 5/15/2022)
Dear God, It’s Me, Death. Please Accept This Letter As My Formal Resignation (selected by Greener Pastures Magazine as one of their favorite pieces of satire of the week, 11/29/2021)